Yesterday was a rough day for the girls. Truth be told it was a rough one for me too. Sam left to go on a Wounded Warrior retreat, and in our crazy life leading up to his leaving we completely forgot to tell the girls he was going somewhere for a few days. This usually means tears and chaos. This time it was no different.
On top of the sudden change for the girls, Sarah had a well child visit. On the way to the doctor it was raining cats and dogs. Sarah said she didn't want to get wet, and so I told her Jesus controls the rain so she should pray to Him about it. She thought for a moment and looked at me and said, "I am going to pray right now that He will stop the rain." She instantly bowed her head and I could hear bits of her faith-filled voice pray. When she was done she looked outside the car and it hadn't stopped. I watched her, doubtful in my own mind that the rain would stop, and she looked at me, " It will take a minute, but it will stop." I smiled encouragingly and nodded. Not two minutes later the rain stopped. Dead stop. Not down to a trickle, but dead stop. She smiled and said, "I told you mommy! Jesus stopped the rain!".
This year she was not set to get anymore vaccines because she is current, and so she went in with no apprehension. They did their routine checks and she was set to go and we were stopped at the desk. They apparently missed a vaccine last year and had to administer it before we left so we could get her into school next week. Sarah's world crumbled. We prayed together to give her bravery to face the shot, and we made it through with a weeping, whaling, and gnashing of teeth. Then off we went for the promised cake pop from Starbucks for being brave through the ordeal. As she was eating it the whole thing fell off the stick and hit the floor of the truck, and I saw the look of utter devastation in her eyes. Stunned and angry she just broke down a cried. Not a fit cry, but an everything-has-gone-wrong cry that was just heart wrenching. I felt helpless and did all I could to encourage and comfort her, and we survived the rest of the day.
Seeing her go from a faith-filled moment, full of confidence in God and His abilities, to full devastation and the world is against her mentality was convicting. How often had I done the same with remarkably less faith than my own daughter? More times than I can count I have gone from full confidence to complete distrust and anger in moments because something didn't go my way.
How many times have I allowed the circumstances in my life rob me of the joy I have received in my answered prayers and blessings? How many times do I look to the negative in my life instead of keeping faith in the One who controls the rain?
On the days I do well and get to grab a few precious minutes in the Word, the day inevitably throws distractions in my way to rob me of the joy I have received. The distractions are bound to take the nugget of Truth, the solid hold on hope that I have to make it through my day. It is often so easy for me to get lost in the overwhelming sense of no purpose when I am constantly cleaning, changing diapers, feeding, disciplining, correcting, the laundry (oh my goodness the laundry), giving...giving...giving...until I am just so empty all I can see is the never ending toll this takes on me. Finances, insecurities, anxiety, depression, feeling horribly inadequate to mother, constantly judging myself and my decisions... all these things distract me. Take over me. Discourage me. Weigh me down. When in all truth I have the ability to lean on the One my daughter has shown me stops the rain.
My faith is only hampered by me. It is bogged down by me when I take my eyes off the One who would so willing take my burdens and bear them for me. He Who would give me rest, edify me, encourage me, strengthen me through His Word and prayer if I would just take my eyes off my circumstances for a moment and keep them on Him.
Looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith... I am thankful for the reminder to keep my eyes on Him through the hard times as well as the good. I am thankful for rainclouds and cake pops, and that through them He can still teach me that if I have faith as a child great things can happen. His strength, His grace, His mercy, all of these things and all of His promises I have full access to as long as I have a little faith.
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